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Learn to trust yourself

November 30, 2019

I used to do this thing where I’d get an idea for creating something amazing and get SUPER excited. I’d think a LOT about what I was going to do to move my idea’s ball forward.


Then……nothing would happen – I would LITERALLY do nothing.


After doing this over and over again, for several years – two things happened. One, I decided I must be an emotional rollercoaster, and I should not trust my feelings. 


I decided the ideas I would get were likely just fantasies, and they should be ignored. And because my ideas, in my mind, were amazing and would make all my dreams come true, I would stop myself by thinking, who gets to have everything they want anyway? That’s not real life.


The second thing that happened was I decided I was a lazy procrastinator that could not finish anything (or in some cases, start anything).


What I now know is this wasn’t me as a lazy procrastinator or an emotional rollercoaster; this was me ignoring my soul and letting my mind run wild. And by wild, I mean, my mind would warn me that my idea was stupid. My mind would say my idea was a fantasy, and I should stop being such a dreamer. My mind would say my plan was not going to work anyway. My mind would warn me that people would think I’m a weirdo.


And so, this is how I’ve lived most of my adult life (until recently). 


This is what I’m now calling reliance on your mindset instead of your soulset. 


Translation? This was me not trusting me. It was me not believing what I wanted. 


Ultimately, it was me not trusting my soul.


Soult talk is something in this modern world that a lot of people don’t understand because they think it’s only for those who’ve perfected meditation. They think soul talk is for those who are Budha-like. Some people might even think there’s no such thing as a soul, or it’s a stupid concept. Or perhaps they call the soul, the spirit, and so if you’re not “godly or religious,” then obviously there’s no such thing as a soul.


But the thing is, soul talk is for everyone! Because we all have a soul, and if we’re not happy, there’s a good chance we’re doing one of two things. 


One, we’re ignoring our soul all together (what I was doing). Or, two, we’re hearing our soul (feeling sad, upset, depressed, excited, etc.), and we have no clue how to console or respond to our soul. We either do things to cover up the emotions, or we go back to the first problem, we ignore our soul.

We have no soulset. Instead, we rely only on mindset.


Understanding how to listen to your soul and console your soul and mastering these two things are the two most essential things in life to figure out to live the life you truly want for yourself. 


Doing these two things can get you out that nagging stuck feeling, and get you moving in the direction that you’ve always dreamed of – fulfilled and happy.


The first significant step in this process is to understand that your emotions are your soul speaking to you. Your soul speaks in emotions. 


Feel “off”? That’s your soul telling you something is not right.


And unfortunately, what most people do when they feel off in one way or another is a) they tell themselves to suck it up, move on, get over it, or b) they cover it up by distractions such as Netflix binges, drinking, or social media overload. 


What happens when you always ignore your emotions? Your soul gets no attention. Your mind leads your soul, and you find yourself unhappy because the mind’s job is to keep you safe, small, secure, and comfortable, which are all things that lead to unhappiness.


So the first step in understanding any of this is to know that your soul speaks in emotions. Your job is to listen and decipher what it means. 


For example, if you are at work, and your boss calls you into their office. You sit down, scared thinking you did something wrong, but then your boss tells you that you’ve been put up for a promotion and you’ll be head of marketing (which is your dream job). You get so excited and are on top of the world. 


This feeling of excitement is your soul screaming yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! Which means you’re aligned with what your soul truly wants. This is good; this is alignment.


Let’s flip this example. Your boss calls you into her office. You sit down and hear her tell you that you’re promoted, and you’ll now be taking over the entire sales team globally (even though you said this is not what you wanted to do with your career). You feel your heart sink, and though you’re upset, you don’t say anything. You say, thanks for the promotion and walk out of the door. You spend your next several years grinding away at a job you do not like. You’re sad, unhealthy, tired, and stressed. This is also your soul screaming – and this time it’s screaming, PLEASE STOP! And instead of stopping, you cover all the bad stuff up with drinking so you can fall asleep. You are eating unhealthy food to boost your mood. And spending your weekend’s binge-watching NetFlix to distract yourself and “decompress.”


These are classic examples of your soul speaking. This is your emotions telling you what your soul is saying. Your job is to trust them and push forward with giving your mind actions to alter the course of your life that aligns with your soul. 


Feeling good – your soul is happy. Keep on keeping on!


Are you feeling bad? Your soul is not happy, and efforts to align with your soul need to take place. This does not, by the way, need to happen in deep meditation. You can be driving down the highway and feel your soul hurting and check in with your soul at that moment by saying, “I hear you’re hurting, and I’m here to help you, and I will make this better.”


Paying attention to when you feel good and when you feel bad is how you understand what makes your soul sing and what makes your soul want to crawl in a hole.


Start paying attention to you, and trust yourself enough to know that those feelings you’re having mean something. Trust you and believe that you have the power within you to make adjustments to move toward a life you want, and experience your soul’s desires. 

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