Why Finding Your Purpose Feels Challenging: 3 Critical Pieces You’ve Been Missing
I want to talk about what gets overlooked when you try to “find” your purpose and is likely why you are searching but coming up short.
My guess is that you’ve searched Google, bought self-help books, hired coaches, and maybe even gone on meditation retreats, but still…
You’ve not “found it.”
Trust me, I know how frustrating this is. I searched and searched for YEARS-just when I thought I found it, I’d start feeling bored or unsure again.
It wasn’t until I realized the importance of these three fundamental pieces, which we all overlook and tend to miss completely.
These three critical players? Your mind, body, and soul.
Your Mind:
I’m sure you’ll relate to this..
You’re in your mid-30s and spent a decade in marketing because that’s your degree, but you’re empty. You’re not fulfilled.
In fact, if you have to spend ONE more day in marketing, you’ll quit on the spot even though you have no money saved and it would be one of the worst things you could do!
So, then you start looking …imaging a change and what your life would be like if you could follow your passion of writing.
So you start…you begin with one blog..
BUT, just when you’ve gotten up the guts to start – your mind hits the panic button. “Wait! This is dangerous! We know marketing! Marketing pays the bills! Stay where it’s safe!”
Or, “Who do you think you are! You’re not a good writer! You couldn’t make money writing! Stick with what you know!”
You see…what you don’t know and most others don’t either is your mind is literally programmed for survival and predictability. That’s why even when you’re unhappy in your current situation, making a change feels terrifying and will stop you dead in your tracks.
Understanding this is sooo important because otherwise, if you try to start writing because you love it, but then stop becuse your mind won’t chill out – you’ll end up in a shame spiral, beating yourself up for being “inconsistent” or “lacking courage” when really, your mind is just doing its job.
And once the shame and negative self talk starts, then your mind protects you from that too-and wants to avoid that at all costs so it won’t let you start writing ever again.
It’s a vicious cycle. One you must observe – and over come in order to pursue your life dreams.
Then there’s the body…
Your Body: the one who will tell us everything!
Have you ever walked into a meeting and felt your shoulders tense? Or maybe you’ve experienced that light, energized feeling after doing something that truly lights you up?
Well, that’s your body talking, and it’s surprisingly honest about what aligns with your purpose. Your body is so intuitive! It can give us signals that we can’t get anywhere else – especially no in a google search!
I’ve experienced this so many times. Recently, I did my very first public speaking engagement, and despite my nerves, the next day I noticed something so amazing: my chronic back pain was gone, I wasn’t tired despite the after mid-night bed time, and I felt incredibly energized. That was my body’s way of saying, “Yes, more of this please!”
And the opposite can be true too. One time I went to a meeting I really did not want to go to.
I was dreading it – and about three hours before I was to head out for the meeting, my head started hurting.
I had the beginning of a migraine. And the closer I got, the deeper into the meeting I went, the worse my head hurt.
Our bodies know – they know what we want, and what we don’t want. Learning to engage with your body’s signals is a critical piece to knowing your purpose and what passions to pursue!
Your Soul: The True North
We’ve all heard “follow your heart” or “listen to your soul,” but let’s be real – what does that actually mean?
I never knew what this meant until I understood a simple truth – your soul communicates through your emotions.
So, when you feel that deep joyous feeling when you’re doing something you love – that’s your soul.
When you feel anxious heading to work, that’s your soul.
The more we can tune into our emotions and understand what they mean, the more we’ll understand our purpose and how to fulfill our soul’s desires.
How do the mind, body, and soul work together?
Finding your purpose isn’t about waiting for a lightning bolt of inspiration or having someone tell you exactly what to do (and let’s be honest, would we even listen if they did?). It’s about learning to work with all three parts of yourself:
- Recognizing when your mind is in protection mode
- Tuning into your body’s wisdom
- Following your soul’s emotional guidance
Remember, you’re not broken or behind if you’re still figuring this out. Most of us spend years on what I call the “conveyor belt of life”—school, job, bills, repeat—without ever learning how to tune into what we truly want.
The journey to purpose starts with awareness of these three powerful forces within you. Once you understand how they work together (or sometimes against each other), you can start making choices that align with your true purpose – not just what looks good on paper or what others expect of you.
What’s your experience with these three aspects of purpose-finding? Which one tends to speak the loudest in your life?